Ready, set, hike!

By Amelia Diamond

The Carolina Panthers are taking on the Denver Broncos (or vice versa depending on who your favorite team/animal is) this Sunday at 6:30 PM, EST. And why do you care? You may not! But it never hurts to be informed, especially if you find yourself with a broken chip sinking fast in queso dip and need to distract someone so that you can scoop it out quick.

If you're trying to win most annoying guest:

Correct absolutely everyone who says that the game is taking place in San Francisco. It's not. It's taking place Levi's Stadium — home of the San Francisco 49ers — in Santa Clara, California.

If you're bored and want to start the alleged "party" part of this Super Bowl thing you were invited to:

Considering she was the highlight of last year’s Bowl, suggest playing Missy Elliott’s greatest hits on the loud speaker instead of the game's sound. The refs’ whistles are annoying.

If you're really bored:

Tell people you miss Left Shark.

If you only care about the halftime performance:

Beyoncé and Coldplay will share the stage. Some people think this is a weird combo, but those some people clearly don’t remember the time Beyoncé and Jay-Z sang “Yellow” to each other and taught us the meaning of love.

If you need random facts about the big players in case of emergency trivia:

From the Panthers…

– Cam Newton, triple threat: quarterback, Santa (he hands out footballs to fans) and street style star. He’s reached ADR status for wearing these Versace pants, although this sweater/denim/keychain/loafer combo is the real winner, in my opinion.

– Luke Kuechly, linebacker, Skittles meteorologist

– Greg Olsen, bearded tight end, not related to The Row designers, unfortunately.

– Jonathan Stewart, running back/ aspiring music producer / future member of the backslash generation

Thomas Davis, linebacker. He broke his arm two weeks ago, so he got a metal place and 12 screws inserted to hold it together so that he can play tonight. This makes him the Pete & Pete's mom of football.

From the Broncos…

– Peyton Manning, quarterback, football OG who throws balls for a living despite not having feeling in his fingertips. The Weeknd, a singer who uses his mouth to sing songs for a living despite not having any feeling in his face, sympathizes.

– Demaryius Thomas, wide receiver, loves his mom. Everyone — regardless of team loyalty — is rooting for Thomas' mother to attend the Super Bowl and watch her son play. She was released from prison early as one of the 46 people whose sentences were commuted by President Obama in July.

– Von Miller, outside linebacker, has some fantastic eyewear in his style arsenal if you Google-image-search him

– Aqib Talib, cornerback, got suspended for one game back in November for poking Colts tight end Dwayne Allen in the eye.

– Demarcus Ware, defensive end, excels in the art of inspirational Twitter

And if you're still standing by that queso awkwardly and need someone to talk to…

Tweet at us or follow us on Snapchat — man_repeller — and take solace in the fact that your own Super Bowl is coming soon. Oh fashion week, I'm talking about you…

Collage by Emily Zirimis, featuring shoe via Mari Giudicelli